Deeper Rooted Lasting / Session 2.1 / Note 1

Last reviewed 21 July 2026

How can I build relationships with parents and carers when I'm busy running a group?

Session 2.1 · Note 1

Building Relationships When You’re Busy

When you are busy actually running a group, it can seem hard to build relationships with parents and carers. Conversations get interrupted; time seems to run away with you. There are simple steps you can take to create space for relationships to grow.

Key Ideas

Can you be flexible at the beginning and end of sessions, arriving a little earlier so you have plenty of time to set up and be around; building in time at the end of sessions just to hang around?
Use your team. You might have people who are natural relationship builders - can you release them to be 'parent pastors', people whose main role is to simply chat and be there? Use those people on the registration or front desk too.
Greet parents and carers as enthusiastically as you do the kids - remember their names, things they've told you.
You might want to offer specific times - I'm always in the office on Tuesdays or free for a coffee this Friday - just message me if you'd like a chat.
If you run a toddler group, check out the Refresh model on the Parenting for Faith website, which shifts the focus to parents and carers while still being a typical toddler group.

Top Tips from Others

In the holidays, open the building for a couple of hours and invite families to play with no agenda.
Plan the group in a way that you're not busy the whole time.
Stand in the welcome area as people arrive.
Learn people's names.
Try and talk to different people each week.

Find out more

The Refresh Model

Last reviewed 21 July 2026

Deeper Rooted Lasting / Session 2.1 / Note 2

Last reviewed 21 July 2026

How can I build relationships with parents and carers who I don't see?

Session 2.1 · Note 2

Connecting with Parents You Don’t See

If you run a youth group or a club in school, for example, you might never or rarely see the parents and carers. Or you may have children who come to your groups with a childminder or grandparent.

Even though we don't see those parents and carers, it's important to try to grow relationships with them so we can start to encourage them that they are part of their kids' journeys of faith and give them opportunities to engage with us.

Key Ideas

Try to be present to say hello. If you have parents and carers who drop off and pick up, can you be there? Session 2 part 2 will give you ideas.
When you communicate with parents and carers, invite them to get in touch if they'd like to know more about what you are doing. Session 3 part 1 will give you ideas about this.
Invite parents and carers in - to stay for some or all of the session, or run termly or annual events like a show and tell of what the kids have done, or a family end of year barbeque.

Top Tips

Offer parents and carers dropping off a drink and a place to sit while the group is on.
Know that building relationships can take years. Keep smiling and chatting.
Keep offering opportunities to chat or come to things even if you don't get a response.
Invite them to join a WhatsApp group so you can update them on session times, invite them to things, and give them information.

Last reviewed 21 July 2026

Deeper Rooted Lasting / Session 2.1 / Note 3

Last reviewed 21 July 2026

What can I do if parents or carers leave the group or aren't interested in building relationships?

Session 2.1 · Note 3

When Parents Disengage or Leave

Parents and carers may leave our groups or just never seem to want to engage with us. It can leave us feeling frustrated. But that's normal and not a sign of failure.

Key Ideas

Many parents and carers won't want to become part of church, and that's OK. They are trying it out. By being welcoming and open, you have already helped them see who God is and what a welcoming community church can be.
There are many reasons why people leave groups - it might just be their circumstances rather than the content. Their kid may have a new group on at the same time, it's just one thing too many in a busy week, or they may have transport issues. If you can, find out why they've left and if there's anything you can do to help them stay.
When parents and carers leave, if you can, keep in touch. It can be really helpful to ask for permission when people join your groups to stay in touch with them. Let them know what else is going on they might be interested in. Session 2 part 3 has more ideas for things you can invite parents and carers to.

Last reviewed 21 July 2026

Deeper Rooted Lasting / Session 2.1 / Note 4

Last reviewed 20 August 2026

What if we don't have any families present on a Sunday?

Session 2.1 · Note 4

Starting When No Families Are Present

Many churches don't have families present regularly on Sundays, and don't have any church groups for children and young people. You might be in that situation and feel you can't even get started. But you will have contact with children and young people and their families.

Key Ideas

Maximise the impact of what you do when you do have contact with families - for example festival services, infant baptism and dedication services.
Prioritise building relationships when you do have contact - welcome them in, make space for conversations and if you can, keep in touch. See session 2 part 2 for ideas you could adapt.
See session 3 part 3 for ideas about engaging parents and carers in infant baptism or thanksgiving preparation.
If you have families present at occasional services, see session 3 part 2 for ideas about how to engage all generations in services, and session 2 part 2 for ideas about how to help parents and carers feel comfortable in your service and able to engage with it.
Build relationships in your community - the next question will help with that.
Remember the grandparents! You will almost certainly have grandparents and grandparent figures in your congregation. Empower them to help them share God with the children and young people in their own lives. Parenting for Faith has a range of resources which will inform and encourage grandparents and grandparent figures about their role in their grandchildren’s lives as well as giving them practical skills and ideas for sharing faith well, whatever their circumstances:

Find out more

Last reviewed 20 August 2026

Deeper Rooted Lasting / Session 2.1 / Note 5

Last reviewed 21 July 2026

How can I build relationships with families in our community we're not in contact with?

Session 2.1 · Note 5

Reaching Families Beyond Your Church

It can feel hard to know how to build relationships with families you don't already have contact with. Here are some ideas to help.

Key Ideas

Think about what your community and the families in it need. What could you offer? Many people talk about looking at the three Ts - time, treasure and talent - to help you spot ways to interact with your community. A church next door to a school could offer tea and tissues for parents and carers dropping their kids off for the first day at school. Could your church hall be a venue for the local health visitor and you offer refreshments?
Could you build relationships with your local school: gardeners tidying up the flowerbeds, cake makers supplying the staff room, people reading with kids?
Invite people into what you are already doing. You might be surprised who might enjoy your craft group, churchyard tidy up, or bingo night.
If you have capacity, consider holding events to invite your local community to.

Top Tips from Others

We host a family fun day each summer and a pancake party on Shrove Tuesday.
We've invited the council to use our warm space to host their courses and events.
We've started a community cafe in our building.
We host a Foodbank.
In the summer, we facilitate a uniform bank where people can come and get school uniform for free.
When schools use our church for services, we offer tea and coffee for the parents.
We try to support our local primary school with volunteers for reading and trips.

Last reviewed 21 July 2026

Deeper Rooted Lasting / Session 2.1 / Note 6

Last reviewed 21 July 2026

How can I start conversations about God and faith with parents and carers?

Session 2.1 · Note 6

Starting Faith Conversations

It can sometimes feel difficult to know how to start conversations about God with parents and carers, particularly those who don't come to church regularly. Here are some ideas that might help.

Key Ideas

Remember that parents and carers who come to church groups will expect you to talk about God.
As you hear about people's lives, offering to pray is an easy next step.
You don't need to force God into the conversation - look for natural opportunities.
It gets easier the more you do it.

Top Tips from Others

It's so much easier to do in the context of a genuine relationship.
We say, if you'd like to know more about faith or God, I'd love to chat.
When you are talking about their kid, ask what would help them grow in their faith.
Offer a mum's Alpha or something similar straight after the toddler group.
Talk about God indirectly - for example, sharing stories about a time he helped you.
Create windows into your relationship with God - for example, saying what a beautiful day it is and that you found yourself telling God what a great job he did as you walked there that morning.

Last reviewed 21 July 2026

Deeper Rooted Lasting / Session 2.1 / Note 7

Last reviewed 21 July 2026

How can I help parents and carers well if I'm not a parent or carer or I'm new to the role?

Session 2.1 · Note 7

Supporting Parents When You’re New

If you're not a parent or carer, or it's been a while since you had younger children, or if you're just new to the role, it can feel hard to be confident that you will be able to help them, whether that's with spiritual questions, general parenting or tricky situations.

The good news is that you don't need to be an expert in all of parenting. What parents and carers need is someone to journey alongside them rather than have all the answers. You can share what you do know, and do your best to help when you don’t. Here are some ideas to help:

Key Ideas

Listen well. When we are stuck, the first thing we need is for someone to listen well to us and that's something we can all do.
Look for others to support you. You may have volunteers who can support you or other people in church. There may be people in churches nearby doing a similar role you could meet up with to get advice and ideas. Or join an online community such as Parenting for Faith's Facebook group for children, youth and families leaders.
Access training that will help. Your diocese or denomination will often have advisors whose role is to support you, and to provide training. Parenting for Faith has team training videos and a bank of webinars for people working with children, young people and families.

Top Tips from Others

Pray for God to guide you and ask others to pray for you in your role.
The more you step out of your comfort zone, the more confidence you will feel.
Know that you are called by God.
If you are new or lack confidence, look for training to help you.

Find out more

Last reviewed 21 July 2026

Deeper Rooted Lasting / Session 2.1 / Note 8

Last reviewed 21 July 2026

How can I help parents and carers well if I'm not a parent or carer or I'm new to the role?

Session 2.1 · Note 8

Being a Helpdesk for Parents

The idea of being a helpdesk might sound daunting, but it's not about knowing everything or feeling the pressure of having to have the right answer immediately. Really it's just about knowing what you know, and knowing what to do if you don't.

You'll find helpful information in the Parenting for Faith post on the idea of helpdesks, and these practical ideas will help.

Key Ideas

Be available for parents and carers: hang around at the end of a service, tell them you can always pop in early, or you're happy to go out for coffee - whatever works for you.
Let them know you're happy to chat and will always try to help. Be friendly and approachable.
Listen really well - understand what people are asking. Often just listening well can be helpful for others.
Offer what help you can, or signpost them to others who can help. This might be another person or an organisation.
If you don't know an answer, tell them you'll try to find out more and will get back to them. Don't be afraid to say, 'I don't know' or 'I tried to find the answer, but couldn't'.
Next time you see them, follow up: 'How is Jack doing now?' or 'Did you hear from the solicitor?'
Watch the Parenting for Faith webinar on Tackling big questions from parents.

Top Tips from Others

If you know other children, young people or families leaders, ask for advice.
Look to your church family - there may be expertise or skills there.

Find out more

Tackling big questions from parents

Last reviewed 21 July 2026

Deeper Rooted Lasting / Session 2.1 / Note 9

Last reviewed 21 July 2026

How can I help parents and carers with really tricky situations?

Session 2.1 · Note 9

Supporting Families in Tricky Situations

Families' lives are tricky and you will inevitably come across difficult situations: bereavement, family breakdowns, domestic violence, additional needs, mental health issues. You are unlikely to be an expert in any of these, but you may well be a family's first point of contact.

Key Ideas

Remember, they will come to you because they know and trust you. They usually won't be expecting you to come up with solutions.
Listen well, so you are sure of what they are going through or need.
If they need help or advice, signpost them to appropriate organisations or resources. Sometimes people appreciate an offer to go with them to appointments. But don't feel pressured to do anything that you don't feel comfortable with.
Be aware of who else in church can help: your pastor, safeguarding officer, people with expertise.
Do offer to pray for them.
Look after yourself too - you may need support or debriefing.
Access Parenting for Faith articles exploring how to support families in a range of tricky situations, including supporting families and supporting parents and carers of children with additional needs.

Top Tips from Others

Particularly if it's something tricky, don't feel overwhelmed. Offer what you can and signpost them to other resources and organisations.
Talk to your church leaders in advance about how your church can support people so you know the basics.

Find out more

Last reviewed 21 July 2026

Deeper Rooted Lasting / Session 2.1 / Note 10

Last reviewed 21 July 2026

How can I help children or young people with additional needs when I'm not an expert?

Session 2.1 · Note 10

Welcoming Children with Additional Needs

If you have children and young people in your church with additional needs, it can feel challenging to know how to care for them well, especially if you have limited experience, knowledge or resources.

Your diocese or denomination will have someone who can support your church with additional needs, and you may also have people in your congregation with relevant experience or expertise who can help.

Key Ideas

Be aware of the wide range of additional needs. There are many conditions and situations that mean a child or young person has additional needs - not all of which might be visible. Discover what constitutes additional needs. You may also have people in your congregation with expertise who can help you learn.
Welcome everyone - church is a place where everyone should be welcome. This means we may need to adapt what we do, or learn new ways to be and learn. Talk to parents and carers, and to the child or young person, to discover what support will help.
Put in place what you can. No one will expect you to become an expert overnight or have all the resources, but often there are things we can do which make a big difference, such as providing a visual timetable, offering a scribe, adapting a game, or allowing access to a den or safe space if a child needs time out.
Access training and information. Organisations such as Growing Hope, Join the Dots Solutions, Through the Roof, and the Additional Needs Alliance can help churches include everyone.
Access the Parenting for Faith additional needs topics: one for parents and carers and another for churches.

Find out more

Last reviewed 21 July 2026

Deeper Rooted Lasting / Session 2.2 / Note 1

Last reviewed 21 July 2026

How can we help parents and carers understand they are the best people to help their children and teens meet and know God?

Session 2.2 · Note 1

Helping Parents See Their Role

It’s important that parents and carers realise that they are the best people to help their children understand who God is and grow a relationship with him, not just because they are their parents or carers, but because they have the skills to do this.

Some parents and carers may doubt their ability to do this or feel they aren’t good enough or knowledgeable enough. The questions later on in this part about key truths will help you reinforce that message. Here are some ways to remind parents and carers that they are the best people to help their children and teens meet and know God.

Key Ideas

Honour the fact that they know their kids the best: ‘These are some kids’ bibles - you’ll know which ones will be the best one for your kid’, or ‘When you think Jamie is ready for confirmation, let me know and we’ll go from there.’
Share stories of everyday discipling - stories help normalise the idea that all parents and carers can help their children meet and know God - see this post for more ideas of what this looks like. The questions on Creating Windows and Framing in Session 3 Part 2 may also be useful.
Share the Parenting for Faith podcast - lots of episodes with ordinary parents and carers talking about faith and their families.
Think about how you talk about parents and carers in church - ‘Parents and carers, you’re doing a great job helping your kids learn about God - how can we help?’ The next question will give you examples of what this might look like.
Share Parenting for Faith social media posts - we regularly post on the Parenting for Faith Facebook and Instagram accounts.
Invite parents and carers to courses or other learning opportunities where they’ll be able to explore this more - see Session 3 Part 4.

Here are some top tips from other children's, youth and families leaders:

Keep reminding them that they are great at helping their kids make sense of the world so they can help them understand who God is too.
Remind them that ‘they know their child best’.
Have parents’ breakfast several times a year, where you can talk about this and they can talk to each other.
Keep pointing them to Parenting for Faith resources.

Find out more

Last reviewed 21 July 2026

Deeper Rooted Lasting / Session 2.2 / Note 2

Last reviewed 21 July 2026

How can I help parents and carers, including those who are new to faith, engage with the spiritual things we do?

Session 2.2 · Note 2

Helping Parents Engage Spiritually

In church we use strange language - worship, blessing, communion for example - and do unusual things: we sing to God, we might dance or move our bodies when we sing; we drink tiny sips of wine and have a few crumbs of bread; we pray to an invisible God. This is particularly true for church services, but you might be using worship songs as part of your toddler group, sharing bible stories at a family holiday club or asking people to pray before your Messy Church tea.

Parents and carers who are new to God, faith or church may not feel comfortable to engage with the spiritual aspects of what we do, or know how to do it. It’s important that we help them understand what we are doing and how they can join in. Remember that if people feel uncomfortable in church or your group, they are less likely to come again, but the big bonus of helping parents and carers engage is that then they can help their kids engage too - something we explore in the next question.

So how can we help them? Here are some ideas:

Key Ideas

You can give people information in advance about what will happen in your group or service, so they have time to process the ideas - this could be a page on the website, a social media post, a flyer.
You, or the service leader, can frame well from the front - there’s a really helpful video on this here.
Rather than correcting or instructing people, consider using a ‘hint drop’.
If you are leading, take time beforehand to consider what might be new for parents and carers, and how you can frame that: for example, the bible story, prayer, worship.
Make it clear that things are optional and give choices: ‘we’re going to pray now .. if you’d like to join in …’. "We’re going to worship God through singing. You can join in by singing, dancing, or doing the actions, or if you prefer you can just sit quietly’.
Consider using a visual timetable or a service guide to help people know what’s coming next.
The Parenting for Faith website has a number of helpful posts: for example, this one thinking about giving families good information in advance, this one thinking about helping families with babies and toddlers, and a training session with more ideas for parents and carers of under fives. Here are some top tips from other children's, youth and families leaders:
Explain the ‘why’ as well as the ‘what’ - not just ‘now it’s time for our bible reading’ but ‘we believe that the bible is a book full of God’s words for us, so it’s important we listen to it’. (There’s a post here explaining this idea further.)
Reassure parents and carers that it’s ok if this stuff is new for you.
Be clear from the front about what is going on, particularly if you expect people to join in.
Imagine you have never been to church before - that will help you see what might be weird for anyone new.

Find out more

Last reviewed 21 July 2026

Deeper Rooted Lasting / Session 2.2 / Note 3

Last reviewed 21 July 2026

How can I equip parents and carers to help their kids engage with the spiritual content in services or groups?

Session 2.2 · Note 3

Equipping Parents to Help Kids Engage

Parents and carers - even if they are new to faith - can help their kids engage with the service and with God far more easily than we can as leaders. With just a little support and resources like visual timetables or pew packs (there are ideas about what to include in pew packs at the end of this document), all parents and carers can help their children with prayer, worship and more.

Key Ideas

Use choices to help parents know how their kids can engage:
Offer a range of ways to engage: ‘We worship by singing because that seems to help people express big feelings to God, but not everyone sings; some love waving these flags, some like to join in with instruments, some sit quietly and listen … everyone can join in the way they like to, including the kids’.
Rather than correcting or instructing people, consider using a ‘hint drop’.
Always include permission not to take part.
Use a ‘side-by-side’ to help parents/carers and their kids engage with God together - there’s a how to explaining this in Session 3 part 2 or you can learn more from this post about working with fringe families.
Consider resources that might help children and young people engage: having a playlist of songs you share in advance, using Makaton signing, visual timetables, pew packs containing things relevant to the service.
For regular church families, give them information in advance if there’s something new coming up - for example, everyone is staying in for communion - with ideas about how to prepare their kid for it.
Session 8 of our original course and session 5 of our teens course are all about how parents and carers can help their children engage with church and you may find them useful.

Here are some top tips from other children's, youth and families leaders:

We have family busy baskets and a sensory tent with resources in.
We have written some social stories with pictures to explain what happens in the service - what will happen but also spaces they can go if they need to wriggle etc.
We offer fidget toys and ear defenders to children as they come in.
We have instruments available, but make sure they are collected after the songs are over!
We have a space to the side where parents and carers can take their children if they need a bit of space to move.
Encourage and remind parents that their kids are not too young to engage and join in
If you use flags or similar, it is helpful if an adult or older child is using them so kids joining in have someone to copy.
We have family sheets aimed at the whole family setting out what’s happening, when it’s ‘time to listen’, ‘time to sing and dance’, plus information about communion and kids’ church.

Here are ideas from others about what to put in pew packs

Material for responding to the story or message (or just drawing) - plain paper and pens or crayons, pipe cleaners, playdough
Clipboards
Laminated prayer prompts with drywipe pens
A visual timetable of the service
Sermon notes / sermon bingo
Age appropriate bibles
Board books
Small (quiet) toys, fidget toys
Ear defenders
Small flags, instruments or ribbons for worship
Websites like Muddy Church have downloadable resources that may be helpful.

Find out more

Last reviewed 21 July 2026

Deeper Rooted Lasting / Session 2.2 / Note 4

Last reviewed 21 July 2026

How can I encourage parents and carers of babies and toddlers that they can help their child engage with God in a service?

Session 2.2 · Note 4

Engaging Babies and Toddlers in Services

Sometimes people assume that babies and toddlers are too young to engage with God in a church service. Parents and carers of babies and toddlers may also be juggling a lot of practical issues - feeding, needing to change a nappy, worries about their child making noise. We can help those parents and carers understand that their child can be part of what’s going on and give them ideas for what that might look like.

Key Ideas

Use the choices and permissions talked about in the previous question.
If you can, have baby friendly resources to help them engage - board book versions of the bible, ribbons to wave, instruments to use. Items that don’t make a noise will help parents and carers not feel nervous about disturbing others.
Encourage parents and carers to explain to their children what’s going on - see ideas from two parents of toddlers here.
Remind parents and carers that even if their child only engages momentarily, they will be taking in more than you might realise, and you are also building their experience of church and God just by being there.
Think about the practical things parents and carers might welcome - this post from Parenting for Faith has some great advice about how to be a baby friendly church.

Here are some top tips from other children's, youth and families leaders:

We don’t open the creche until after the opening worship songs, so that babies and toddlers are present for that with their parents
We teach the Makaton sign for ‘amen’ so that even toddlers can join in
We offer colourful scarves to toddlers who are beginning to dance
We say to parents and carers, don’t worry if your little one wants to move around, that’s fine, and there’s plenty of room at the front if they’d like to see more.

Find out more

Last reviewed 21 July 2026

Deeper Rooted Lasting / Session 2.2 / Note 5

Last reviewed 21 July 2026

What do you do in a Sunday service which isn’t designed for children so parents and carers can help their kids engage?

Session 2.2 · Note 5

Helping Children Engage in Adult Services

Many of us will have the situation where there are babies, children and/or young people present for the whole of a service that doesn’t seem designed for them. It might be your normal experience, or you might have special services such as Christmas services or baptisms. As children, young people and family leaders or volunteers, we might not have much control over the service, but there are still things we can do to encourage and equip parents and carers to help their kids engage.

The previous questions in this section will be helpful. In addition, in this particular scenario, some or all of the following might be helpful:

Key Ideas

If you are able to, talk to the service leader in advance about ideas to support the parents and carers.
If you have an area where parents and carers can sit with kids, for example a side chapel or children’s corner, let people know it’s available as you welcome them. Make it as comfortable for both adults and children as possible.
Consider giving out pew packs - an earlier question in this section had a list of ideas for things to include.
Consider creating service booklets with an order of service, but also things for children or young people to look out for in the church or during the service.

Last reviewed 21 July 2026

Deeper Rooted Lasting / Session 2.2 / Note 6

Last reviewed 21 July 2026

What can I do if parents and carers just don’t want to engage?

Session 2.2 · Note 6

When Parents Don’t Want to Engage

It can be incredibly frustrating if parents and carers who bring their kids to church just don’t want to engage. Maybe they are talking through your Messy Church worship, aren’t encouraging their kids or won’t bring their toddler across for the bible story and singing.

Some of the following might be helpful:

Key Ideas

The reality is that this does and will happen. But consider why that might be:
They might not realise this is for them too - they are there because their kids can’t be there without them, but they wouldn’t be there from choice.
They may assume the content is just for kids or can’t see how it’s relevant for them.
They might feel uncomfortable with the spiritual content - worship, bible, prayer.
They may feel unsure how to engage.
Ask yourself: How can we make this seem relevant to the adults? What about adding in things adults can relate to and might be drawn in by. For example, a story from an adult about a time they prayed and what God did, or using a worship song that doesn’t feel childish.
Ask people to do things in families, so the kids will draw their parents or carers in: ‘Find the grown up you came with and chat to them about one thing you think God should do to make the world a better place’. ‘OK everyone, it’s race time! Every family needs one of these packs, and when I say ‘go’, let’s see which family will be the first to finish the challenge!’
In something like Messy Church, consider having more complex crafts for the parents and carers to do, so they actively join in too.
Look at ideas from the first question in this section - these might give parents or carers more confidence that they can engage.
Focus on building relationships with those parents and carers - see the ideas in Session 2 Part 1.
Relax if nothing changes. None of us like being forced into doing what we don’t like. Some parents and carers need time to observe, and one day you might just see them starting to engage. Here are some top tips from other children's, youth and families leaders:
Be clear about the structure of the session and that there are times when they will need to help and be with their kids
Use a microphone so you can be clearly heard when you give instructions
General shushing! But do it with a smile and only if you have a good relationship with those parents and carers.
Meet them where they are, be patient and don’t be judgmental

Last reviewed 21 July 2026

Deeper Rooted Lasting / Session 2.2 / Note 7

Last reviewed 20 August 2026

What might parents and carers believe about faith, and what key truths do they need to know?

Session 2.2 · Note 7

Key Truths Parents Need to Know

One of the most powerful things we can do is to help parents and carers understand that because they are the experts in their own families and know their children the best, they really are more effective at sharing faith with their children than the church ever can be.

One of the things that can stop parents and carers believing that is when they have some wrong ideas about faith and discipleship. Other parents and carers may be new to it all and so think the church will be better at it than they could ever be. So it’s important that we share key truths about God and faith so that parents and carers can be confident that however new this is, they can do it.

Key Ideas

These are some assumptions about God and faith that we’ve come across:
- I’m not good enough for God
- I don’t know enough to help my child on their faith journey
- The church knows a lot more than me so they should help my child, not me
- There are activities I have to do like bible reading and faith at home
The truths parents and carers need to hear are:
- God has given you a place of significant influence in the spiritual lives of your children that can’t be replicated or replaced. Influence happens through personal connection and you have a stronger personal connection with your children and teens than anyone else. The church cannot be as effective as you are.
- God knows what parenting is like. He has designed it so that sharing faith with your children can happen in the midst of ordinary, up and down, busy life. What kids need to see is a real relationship with God close up so they can work out what it is and how to do it themselves. You are ideally placed to do this. Faith is always an up and down journey. There’ll be good bits and hard bits – and that’s OK and normal.
- There’s no one right way to ‘do’ faith with your family. You know your family best and spend the most time with them, so will be able to work out what will help your family journey with God and build it into your everyday lives.
- Faith isn’t about being good enough or knowing enough. It’s about being on a journey with God, and learning as we go - and if you’re on a journey with God, even if you are just at the beginning of it, you can take your kid on it too. Even if you don’t know much, you can support and encourage your kid - just like you do when they start ballet lessons, or take up karate - and share what you know.
- Church is there to help us all on our journeys with God – to encourage, challenge and resource us – but can never be as effective as you are.

Find out more

Last reviewed 20 August 2026

Deeper Rooted Lasting / Session 2.2 / Note 8

Last reviewed 21 July 2026

How can I share key truths with parents and carers?

Session 2.2 · Note 8

Sharing Key Truths with Parents

It’s really powerful when we begin to share key truths with parents and carers. How you do this will depend on the situation. Unless you are teaching in a formal setting (see Session 3 Part 4), it’s probably easiest to think about this as drip-feeding over time, helping parents and carers hear, absorb and process the ideas.

Key Ideas

Drop key truths into conversation - ideas from the question on helping parents and carers understand they are the best people to help their kids at the beginning of this section will be helpful here.
Share stories of your / others’ faith journeys. It is powerful to hear other people’s stories of them and God. This post about sharing stories from the Parenting for Faith website will give you ideas for this.
Do include stories of when things haven’t been straightforward - times when there have been doubts or struggles or a situation is unresolved.
Ordinary stories are also powerful: for example, a parent’s fears for their child moving to high school and how God calmed them.
Create windows into your own faith so parents and carers get a glimpse of one person’s ‘normal’ faith - see the questions in Session 3 Part 2 about creating windows and sharing the Five Key Tools for ideas about how to do this.
Be honest about doubt, unanswered prayer and hard times - but also share how you managed this situation so people understand that God is still present and important for you.

Find out more

Share stories of your / others’ faith journeys. It is powerful to hear other people’s stories of them and God. This post about sharing stories from the Parenting for Faith website will give

Last reviewed 21 July 2026

Deeper Rooted Lasting / Session 2.3 / Note 1

Last reviewed 20 August 2026

What sort of things can I invite parents and carers to?

Session 2.3 · Note 1

What to Invite Families To

Do be encouraged - invitations work! Recent Talking Toddlers research reported that 47% of toddler parents who currently don’t go to a church group said they would welcome an invitation to come along – invitations are important!

If families start to take part in other things you do as a church, it helps them to discover more about the church community and connect to it. There’s a really helpful clip on BRF Ministries YouTube channel from one of Rachel Turner’s ‘Lunch with Leaders’ webinars on ‘Engaging Fringe Families’, starting at that explains this well, starting at 29 minutes and 20 seconds.

Even if you don’t have a big children, youth and families programme, you probably do things that you could invite your parents and carers and families to. Here are some ideas you could use and the next question will help you think through ideas for doing this as effectively as possible.

Key Ideas

Natural links, such as festival seasons:
- Crib service – could you ask all your Messy Church families if they’d like to participate or invite your tots children to be stars and sing Twinkle Twinkle?
- Easter – invite to Easter Sunday and the Easter Egg hunt
- Mothering Sunday
- Harvest
- Light party at Halloween
- Pancake party on Shrove Tuesday
Church activities for adults
- Alpha course or equivalent
- Events like games nights or arts mornings
- Mens or womens groups
- Parenting courses or events
- Dads and kids stay and play
Church activities for everyone
- Churchyard tidy up
- Christmas craft afternoon
- Family fun days
- Uniform bank or swap shop (inviting people to donate unwanted items and take any they need or would like)
Simple things you can do as an extension of your existing group
- Posada at Christmas
- Messy Christmas service in church
- Summer stay and plays
- Holiday club for kids,but with a parents and carers cafe on the side
Straightforward one-offs
- Tea and tissues after the first day at school drop off
- Baptism reunion picnics
- An autumn welly walk or summer holiday picnic
- Christmas craft morning
Invite parents and carers to help
- Continue as a helper when kids have left the group
- Use the expertise they can offer - website design, a health visitor who could do a short talk, a gardener to give advice on planting the churchyard, for example.

Find out more

Rachel Turner’s ‘Lunch with Leaders’ webinars on ‘Engaging Fringe Families’,

Last reviewed 20 August 2026

Deeper Rooted Lasting / Session 2.3 / Note 2

Last reviewed 21 July 2026

How can I make my invitation as effective as possible?

Session 2.3 · Note 2

Making Invitations Work Well

When you are inviting people to groups or events, it’s important to make that invitation as effective as possible. People’s diaries fill up; they will need reminders; they might not be at the group the week you give out the invitations. Here are some ideas to help make your invitation effective.

Key Ideas

Whenever you plan an event or group, think right from the beginning about other things you could invite people to. Ask yourself - what is coming up or already happening that I could invite them to? Think broadly - not just similar events or groups, but whatever you do they might be interested in, such as an information session on teens and social media, or a get together for parents of kids starting school.
Give yourself time to get the invitation out well so you’re not asking people last minute when their diary is full. Start talking about it weeks or even months in advance.
Repeat the invitation and share it in multiple places – in person, on a leaflet, on social media - it takes time for things to sink in!
Invitations work really well when they are relational. If you can, introduce them to someone who lives near them or with kids who are a similar age to theirs who will be coming along and who would be happy to meet them there or go together with them.
Give them good information – not just times and dates, but what it will be like, who’ll be there. Sharing videos and photos can be helpful. Think about if you were invited to a random group – what would you want to know to be confident enough to go? There’s a lovely example of this on YouTube from City Life Church Truro showing what to expect if you come to their toddler group.
If you can, be a friendly face at the event and let people know you’ll be there.

Here are some top tips from other children's, youth and families leaders****:

Make it personal and use the normal ways you communicate with them - WhatsApp, social media, in person etc
Reminders and repetition are key!
Try to have someone they are familiar with already to meet them at the new thing.

Find out more

what would you want to know to be confident enough to go? There’s a lovely example of this on YouTube from City Life Church Truro showing what to expect if you come to their toddler group.

Last reviewed 21 July 2026

Deeper Rooted Lasting / Session 2.3 / Note 3

Last reviewed 21 July 2026

How can I plan effectively for transitions out of my group?

Session 2.3 · Note 3

Planning for Transitions Well

It’s normal for people to leave groups. Sometimes it’s because a child has aged out, like a toddler starting school, but there are other reasons too. Maybe teens lose interest in your family event, or a parent’s schedule changes and they just can’t get there. So it’s really helpful to think early about possibilities for families leaving so you can maximise the chance of them staying connected to your church community.

Key Ideas

Identify any natural transition points. For example, when parents go back to work from maternal or paternal leave. Reflect on any patterns you see historically. Is there an age when attendance drops off, or a clash with other activities means families stop attending?
Always be thinking about what you could transition families to. The first question in this part might be helpful here. Are there any natural next steps, eg moving from toddlers to Bubble Church. Think too about age groups – if people leave toddlers at 3 years old but the kids club doesn’t start until 5, is there something that would bridge the gap? Think broadly about other things you do - they might be things you could invite people to join in with, such as a bible study group, a churchyard tidy up, a craft group or fundraising event.
Think about how to help people transition. Information alone isn’t always effective. Could you offer taster sessions or invite the leaders of the new group in to meet people? Or could a leader from the current group be there for the first few sessions of the next group?
Give them good information as early as you can - the previous question might be helpful.
Try to stay in touch if families don’t transition to anything else - the next question will help with this.
This article, written for toddler groups but useful for all ages, talks more about transitions

Here are some top tips from other children's, youth and families leaders:

We don’t have strict age limits so will keep older kids in a group if it’s appropriate.
We invite mums whose toddlers have left tots group to drop in for coffee and we find a good few take us up on that!
We reassure the mums that we’ll be there for their next step and ask if they’d like any support for that.
We deliberately put familiar faces in the new group for a few weeks to help people settle in.

Find out more

This article, written for toddler groups but useful for all ages, talks more about transitions

Last reviewed 21 July 2026

Deeper Rooted Lasting / Session 2.3 / Note 4

Last reviewed 20 August 2026

What if we don’t have anything for people to transition to?

Session 2.3 · Note 4

When There’s Nothing to Transition To

You might be in the position where you have no more capacity to offer other groups for people to transition to, and that’s OK. Here are some ideas for what you might be able to do in those circumstances.

Key Ideas

Think ahead - when you register people to your group, ask permission to stay connected to them in the future - this means you can send them information about other events or groups even when they’ve left. If you use something like Mailchimp segment your emails so they only get age appropriate invites to events and services. Invite them to join relevant Facebook pages. There may be things a year or so down the line they’d like to know about.
When parents and carers leave, you might want to ask them how or if they’d like to stay connected to the group. They may want to stay in the group as a helper or have an idea you haven’t thought about.
Look at the first question in this part for ideas for one-off events that you can easily put on that people might like to come to - for example:
- Tea and tissues after the first day at school drop off
- Baptism reunion picnics
- Summer holiday meet ups in the local park or an autumn welly walk
- Christmas craft morning
Don’t forget other local churches – you might be able to signpost to things they do so families can continue their journey with church and God.

Last reviewed 20 August 2026

Deeper Rooted Lasting / Session 2.3 / Note 5

Last reviewed 21 July 2026

How can we safely invite others into our groups?

Session 2.3 · Note 5

Inviting Others into Your Group Safely

Often our groups are quite contained, with just a few leaders or helpers whom people get to know well. When you invite other people from church into your group, you can widen parents’ and carer’s experience of church and build relationships that might help them feel and become part of the wider church community. It’s also a great opportunity for families to get to hear others’ experiences of God.

Key Ideas

You need to do this in a safe way, so do consult your church’s safeguarding officer to make sure you’re doing it well.
Make sure the person you invite in has a natural role so they feel comfortable being there e.g.a bird watcher to help your Wild Church learn about birds / an artist to help with Christmas decorations / a knitter to teach basic knitting skills / a musician to help with singing time.
You can also invite people in with a relevant story to tell. For example, if your Bubble Church’s theme is God hears us, invite someone with a story about a time they cried out to God and he turned up. Or if you are inviting toddler parents and carers to think about if they’d like their baby to be baptised you could invite in someone who brought their baby for baptism and what that was like.
Think about key people you’d like your parents and carers to meet and encourage them to come along from time to time. For example your vicar or curate may be a good option so if families turn up at Easter, things feel a bit more familiar.
Whoever you invite, build in time for chat so relationships can start to grow.

Last reviewed 21 July 2026

Deeper Rooted Lasting / Session 3.1 / Note 1

Last reviewed 21 July 2026

How can I communicate clearly what we do with parents and carers I never or rarely see?

Session 3.1 · Note 1

Communicating with Parents You Rarely See

If you rarely see parents and carers, good communication can help to build a relationship with them. It’s also a way you can share a little about the spiritual content of your programmes and build trust and even begin to introduce parents and carers to truths about God and faith.

Key Ideas

Good, clear communication builds trust with parents and carers. It gives them clear information about what you are doing spiritually with their children and enables them to ask questions. It also honours them in their role as parent or carer and allows them to make choices they are comfortable with.
Depending on the group, you will be communicating in different ways: for example a letter home from school for your after school club, a flyer to go out to local homes, social media posts. For an established group, you may have something like a WhatsApp group to keep in touch or send monthly emails.
It is good practice to be clear about the spiritual content of your programme, e.g. 'bible stories, songs and prayer’ or ‘exploring the claims of Jesus being God this term’.
Use clear language – ‘prayer’ not ‘chatting to God’, ‘Bible’ not ‘the word’ so that everyone can understand what you mean.
Clearly include your contact details / church information and who to get in touch with to find out more.
If you see parents and carers briefly for drop off and pick up, prioritise greeting them, chatting, getting to know them as best you can. Give them flyers / letters personally - ‘this is just to let you know what we’re doing next term, it’s really interesting …’ Session 2 Part 1 will be helpful with this.
You might find this article about putting parents at the centre, from the Parenting for Faith website, helpful.

Find out more

You might find this article about putting parents at the centre, from the Parenting for Faith website,

Last reviewed 21 July 2026

Deeper Rooted Lasting / Session 3.1 / Note 2

Last reviewed 20 August 2026

How can I feedback well to parents and carers?

Session 3.1 · Note 2

Giving Good Feedback to Parents

Like good communication, good feedback to parents and carers about what their child has been doing honours them in their role as primary disciplers. It also helps them understand what their child or young person has been doing and can give them ideas for supporting their kids’ spiritual lives at home.

Key Ideas

This could be feedback at the end of a Sunday group, youth group, school club, holiday club. It could be feedback to parents and carers who are regular attenders, or it could be feedback to parents and carers who are new to faith or don’t seem to have any faith - or even have another faith.
Depending on your situation, there’s a variety of ways to do this. In-person (maybe quickly); email/whatsapp; handout/board at the end of a session; a termly catch up; joining for the last few minutes of a session. There are ideas for how to do that well here.
It’s important that you make any feedback manageable for you and not overwhelming for the parents and carers. So you might feedback weekly, but it might be less frequently.
When you feedback, think about the following:
- Don’t just talk about what you did (the activity), but include the key learning. For example, don’t simply say we looked at the story of Noah, but ‘we thought about Noah and how he might have doubted when he was stuck on the ark for so long’. Or not simply that you talked about the Bible, but that ‘we asked and answered questions about if the Bible is true and how do we know’.
- If appropriate, include how the kids engaged with God: e.g. ‘We spent time chatting to God about things we find hard to believe.’
- Include ideas for exploring this at home e.g. asking parents or carers to share a story of a time you doubted God. What happened? Or ‘this video is a great intro to the ideas we talked about’.
- You might want to watch this video from the Parenting for Faith website about feedback that helps parents and carers work out how to continue with their kid’s experience simply and easily.
- You might also want to suggest a ‘conversation starter’ for families to use at home that explores the same ideas as you talked about in the group - there is a free download of 101 questions to ask your kid to spark an interesting conversation on the Parenting for Faith website that will help you get started with this.

Find out more

Last reviewed 20 August 2026

Deeper Rooted Lasting / Session 3.1 / Note 3

Last reviewed 20 August 2026

How can I feedback well to parents and carers of babies and toddlers?

Session 3.1 · Note 3

Feeding Back to Parents of Babies & Toddlers

We sometimes care for very young children in a church creche. Even though these children are too young to be able to know or repeat what you did, you can feedback what you did during the session, what was prayed over the child, and if you noticed anything you saw or sensed God was doing.

As well as the ideas in the previous question, consider the following:

Key Ideas

You can ask the team to pray for the baby or toddler they are with and feedback in-person or via a journal what the children did, anything they sensed God was saying and what they prayed.
It can be really helpful to use worship music and share Bible stories, even with the tiniest babies, and allow time for God to meet with them. Tell the parents and carers what you sang or played over the children, and which story you used.
You can share playlists of the worship music you use in your creche with parents and carers for them to use at home - and invite them to add to it.
The webinar ‘Parenting for Faith in church with under fives and parents’, on the Parenting for Faith website, is full of ideas for your church creche.

Find out more

The webinar ‘Parenting for Faith in church with under fives and parents’

Last reviewed 20 August 2026

Deeper Rooted Lasting / Session 3.1 / Note 4

Last reviewed 21 July 2026

What are some examples of ways to invite parents and carers into what we do?

Session 3.1 · Note 4

Inviting Parents into What You Do

It’s great when we can invite parents and carers into what we are doing with their kids so they get to know us and understand what we do better. People are often more interested than you think in coming along, but there may be significant barriers for them. By thinking about what might work, and repeatedly inviting them, we can make that happen more often.

Key Ideas

Think about what would work for your group and the parents and carers – is it a group where parents and carers could stay and it not feel awkward or would it be better to try something else? Kids may love seeing their parents or carers, but young people probably less so!
Invite them into part of a session. Some groups welcome parents and carers to stay for a little while after drop off or come early and watch for the last part.
Think about if parents and carers could be part of the group. We are very used to the idea of running a kids club, where parents and carers their kids off. But some churches successfully run clubs for the whole family, where the whole family can come and learn and play together.
Have a comfortable space for parents and carers to wait. If a club runs only for one hour, you might find that some parents and carers would welcome a cup of tea and somewhere to sit and chat rather than having to go home only to come out again a short while later.
Invite in for a ‘show and tell’ - maybe once a term where kids share with their parents and carers what they have been doing.
The questions in Session 2 Part 3 might also be useful for you.

Here are some top tips from other children's, youth and families leaders:

Invite parents and carers to arrive 15 minutes before the end so they can see what’s happening – they might be able to come into the room or have the door open so they can see and hear.
During our holiday club we have a parents and carers cafe in the same building with toys and things for younger children. There are some people running it who get to know the parents.
We found that it’s worth asking parents or carers if they’d like to join the team - we’ve had some do that.
Have a termly ‘parents/carers and kids’ evening where everyone stays
We’ve had a family barbeque and sports day for all the families at the end of the summer term.
Think about things like Pancake Day, Easter, Christmas and use those times to invite parents and carers and younger children in.

Last reviewed 21 July 2026

Deeper Rooted Lasting / Session 3.2 / Note 1

Last reviewed 20 August 2026

How can I learn about the Five Key Tools, or help my team learn?

Session 3.2 · Note 1

Learning the Five Key Tools

The Five Key Tools are at the heart of the Deeper Rooted Lasting approach. They are the skills parents and carers can use to help their children - of any age - understand who God is, what he does and to enable them to develop their own one-to-one relationship with him. As people who work with families, it’s hugely beneficial if we understand them well.

Key Ideas

It’s really helpful for you to know and be able to use the Five Key Tools - not only to share them with parents and carers but also to use them with parents and carers yourself, for example, sharing a quick story about how you felt overwhelmed, you prayed and what God did.
The Five Key Tools can help equip the parent or carer on their own faith journey and at the same time equip them to use that tool with their kids. Later on in this section we have questions that will give you more information and examples of each of the Five Key Tools and what it might look like to use them with parents and carers and families.
Parenting for Faith has a range of ways for you and your team to learn more about the Five Key Tools. Work out how your team would find training easiest: 15 minutes before the session for a short explanation and encouragement / termly breakfasts / online / referring them to a video to watch and then chatting about it later - whatever works for them. You might find this webinar, where two experienced children and youth leaders share their approach, helpful.
Below are some ideas from the Parenting for Faith website for how you and your team could learn more:
- Check out the resources section of the Parenting for Faith website for short introductory videos to the Five Key Tools. Scroll down on this page and click on a logo to find out more about each of the Key Tools.
- Read one of our books, available from the resources section of the website. You might want to start with either ‘Parenting Children for a Life of Faith (Omnibus)’ or ‘Parenting Teens for a Life of Faith’ where the Five Key Tools are unpacked.
- Watch the free Original Parenting for Faith course as a team.
- Search for ‘training videos’ on the Parenting for Faith website to see a range of video based training that will help you understand the Five Key Tools better, and learn how they apply in different circumstances.
- Study for a Cliff College Certificate in Parenting for Faith - a deep dive into the ideas behind and the principles of Deeper Rooted Lasting.
- Book one of our experienced speakers to deliver training either online or in person.
- Contact the Parenting for Faith team on parentingforfaith@brf.org.uk if you have questions or would like advice - we are always happy to help!

Find out more

Last reviewed 20 August 2026

Deeper Rooted Lasting / Session 3.2 / Note 2

Last reviewed 21 July 2026

How can I use a side-by-side activity to teach a key tool?

Session 3.2 · Note 2

Creating Side-by-Side Experiences

Whenever you have families present, you have a wonderful opportunity to create a ‘side-by-side’ experience. A side-by-side experience happens when you help whole families use a key tool there and then in the service, and teach them how to do that at home.. A side-by-side experience works both for your church families and families who might be there for the very first time and can be a powerful way for them to engage with God.

There’s a full explanation of how to create a side-by-side encounter in this post from the Parenting for Faith website. This post also includes a free download of five side-by-side activities you could use in Christmas services and events, and another set for Easter.

Find out more

There’s a full explanation of how to create a side-by-side encounter in this post from the Parenting

Last reviewed 21 July 2026

Deeper Rooted Lasting / Session 3.2 / Note 3

Last reviewed 20 August 2026

Show me some examples of teaching the key tool of Creating Windows

Session 3.2 · Note 3

Teaching Creating Windows

The core idea at the heart of Key Tool of Creating Windows is giving someone else a glimpse of your relationship with God. It is a powerful tool because it taps into how we often learn about life - observing other people. We learn from things they say, for example, ‘This new spin class is amazing! I feel so much stronger’ and from things you observe: ‘I saw Andy powerwalking along the canal today and thought I might have a go’. You can create a window using a story, a comment or by letting someone watch you and God together.

Parents and carers will understand more about a relationship with God when you create windows into your own relationship with God. It also models for them how they could give their kids a glimpse of their own relationship with God. When children and teens get glimpses of others’ relationship with God it gives them ideas and possibilities for how they might do life with God themselves.

Key Ideas

Some examples of what you might do:
- You can tell a story about how your relationship with God works: ‘I was feeling a bit overwhelmed last week, so I took 5 minutes to chat with God and that grounded me’.
- You can explain how God’s involved your life: ‘I was chatting to God about what craft to do and he reminded me about that origami bird – so that’s what we’re doing’ or ‘I find it much easier to pray when I’m outside walking.’
- Let them see you and God. It’s really powerful to see someone worshipping or letting themselves connect with God in prayer and helps people know what to do. For example, if you pray out loud in the group, pray as you would at home, using ordinary language.
- You can also invite people to create windows into their relationship with God for others: for example:
- If you’ve had the story of Daniel, ask people to share any stories of times when God rescued them.
- If you’re talking about the power of the bible, ask people to share their favourite bible story and why it’s their favourite
- If you’ve thought about how God is close to us, invite people to share stories of what that feels like for them.
For ideas on how you can learn more about Creating Windows see the first question in this section.

Find out more

Last reviewed 20 August 2026

Deeper Rooted Lasting / Session 3.2 / Note 4

Last reviewed 20 August 2026

Show me some examples of teaching the key tool of Framing

Session 3.2 · Note 4

Teaching Framing

The second Key Tool is ‘Framing’. Framing is when we help people make sense of God in their lives and in the world by explaining things. It doesn’t just apply to overtly spiritual things like worship - we can frame who God is in ordinary life too: when you are happy or depressed, at work or at school, when you are facing something new or don’t know what’s happened. Framing is important because it helps people see God’s relevance and power and potential in their own lives.

Parents and carers will understand more about who God is and what he does when you frame things for them. It will also help them learn how they can use framing to help their kids understand God too. There are lots of ways to incorporate framing simply into your session or service. When you tell a bible story you can stop and say, ‘I wonder what God was doing when Daniel was shut in with the lions?’ Before you sing songs, you can say, ‘When we sing these songs, we’re telling God how amazing he is.’ You can use the four-step question tool in a talk at Muddy Church, encouraging people to add their ideas.

Key Ideas

Some examples of what this might look like:
- We can use framing to help us talk about God in the everyday e.g. ‘Exams are really tough. But God just wants you to do your best. He’s got good plans for you, regardless of your results’.
- The Parenting for Faith website has a simple four step process to help people answer any question about God. People have many questions about God, the bible and faith, and this four step Questions Tool helps people think about the question well. You can use this as part of a teaching section or if people have specific questions.
- We can use framing to help us make sense of the Bible – putting bible stories in context and using wondering questions to help people think about the part God was playing in the story.
- We can use framing to help people make sense of the church service e.g. ‘When the priest bows like that, he’s showing that God is his king’
- We can use framing to add the ‘whys’ to the ‘whats’ of Christian activity e.g. ‘when we give to charity, it’s like we’re remembering what God said about helping the poor and needy’.
- We can use framing to help start conversations about God in small groups.
For ideas on how you can learn more about Framing see the first question in this section.

Find out more

Last reviewed 20 August 2026

Deeper Rooted Lasting / Session 3.2 / Note 5

Last reviewed 20 August 2026

Show me some examples of teaching the key tool of Unwinding

Session 3.2 · Note 5

Teaching Unwinding

Unwinding is the third Key Tool. Unwinding is all about helping people get an accurate and broad picture of who God is. We can sometimes have a narrow or warped view of God - for example, that he is far away - and we can help people correct any warped views and broaden their understanding of who God is. In church groups, you are less likely to be correcting unbalanced views but can give people a broad and balanced view of him in the Bible stories you choose, the things you say and the songs you sing.

Here are some ideas to help you use and share the Key Tool of Unwinding:

Key Ideas

Think about the Bible stories you use in your sessions. Over time, do they tell the whole story of God and us? Do they give a one-sided view of God e.g. focussing on his power or his comfort? Are they from both the Old and New Testaments? This article on telling the whole story may be helpful.
Think about the songs you sing. Songs are a powerful way for people to learn about God and we remember them. What are the messages they are giving about God? We have ideas here for picking songs that provide a balanced view of God.
Try to create a culture where it’s OK to wonder about God rather than having the ‘right’ view of him.

Find out more

Last reviewed 20 August 2026

Deeper Rooted Lasting / Session 3.2 / Note 6

Last reviewed 20 August 2026

Show me some examples of teaching the key tool of Chat and Catch

Session 3.2 · Note 6

Teaching Chat and Catch

Chat and Catch is the fourth Key Tool. Chat and Catch is about prayer and growing a one to one connection with God. Many children, young people and adults aren’t familiar with this idea. Many people are used to a model of prayer that promotes talking to God without any expectation of his joining in. Not everyone is aware of the breadth of ways God communicates with us - through the bible, dreams, using our senses and emotions, messages from others, for example.

When we introduce people to a conversational model of prayer it can be profoundly impactful and freeing for them, helping them recognise how they hear God and how they prefer to communicate with him. It enables a one to one relationship with God that helps to deepen and root faith.

We can model and teach a conversational style of prayer in all our groups, recognising that prayer doesn’t just involve words, but feelings, thoughts, our senses, our bodies, the Bible and others. When we do this when parents and carers are present we not only help them grow a one to one, connected relationship with God, but give them ideas and experiences that will help them share Chat and Catch with their children.

Some examples of what that might look like:

Key Ideas

Allowing a pause in formal prayers and suggesting everyone tell God what’s on their mind and hearts.
Having a time when people are free to connect with God in prayer in different ways - writing, drawing, talking, moving.
At the end of a toddler group, suggesting everyone tell God one thing they have enjoyed today.
Suggesting everyone asks God a question and see if they can catch his answer.

Find out more

Last reviewed 20 August 2026

Deeper Rooted Lasting / Session 3.2 / Note 7

Last reviewed 20 August 2026

Show me some examples of teaching the key tool of Surfing the Waves

Session 3.2 · Note 7

Teaching Surfing the Waves

The fifth Key Tool is Surfing the Waves. Surfing the Waves recognises that kids’ discipleship is a long term journey, and there will be ups and downs, and helps parents and carers navigate that well. It also helps parents and carers recognise that every child is different and will have their own temperament, preferences, abilities and interests - and this will apply to faith too, and how children, young people and adults will relate to God and respond to him.

When you share the Surfing the Wave tool with parents and carers, it reassures them about their kids’ faith journeys and helps them understand that their role is to accompany and support their child as they grow their own relationship with God. It also encourages them to discover their kids’ unique ways of connecting with God.

These are some ideas for how you can use and share the Surfing the Waves tool:

Key Ideas

Remind parents and carers of the key truths: we can demonstrate and teach the key tool of Surfing the Waves by reminding parents of the key truths about Parenting for Faith - see the questions in Session 2 Part 2 for more on the key truths.
Offer choices: in groups and services, we can help parents and carers makeor point to the best choices for their children and teens by offering choices e.g. in how to worship or which bible to use.
Be like IKEA: This post on the Parenting for Faith website explains how when church is more ‘IKEA’ than dentist, we build parent and carers’ confidence that they can surf the waves of their family’s needs and preferences.
Direct parents and carers to resources which will help them understand how they can support their kid at different ages or in different circumstances. Parenting for Faith has courses for every stage as well as books and a well-resourced website. See Session 3 Part 4.

Find out more

Last reviewed 20 August 2026

Deeper Rooted Lasting / Session 3.2 / Note 8

Last reviewed 20 August 2026

How can I tweak a curriculum to build in the Five Key Tools?

Session 3.2 · Note 8

Tweaking Curriculum for the Five Key Tools

Many of us use pre-written curriculum or session plans that don’t necessarily promote God- connection or use the Five Key Tools. With just a few tweaks, you can add in simple changes to any curriculum that will help people dig under the surface of the Bible, see how the learning applies to their own lives, and connect with God and hear his voice.

Find out more

In this post, we break down how to do this and give examples of what that might look like.

Last reviewed 20 August 2026

Deeper Rooted Lasting / Session 3.2 / Note 9

Last reviewed 20 August 2026

How can I plan so everyone can engage in an intergenerational setting?

Session 3.2 · Note 9

Planning for Intergenerational Engagement

When you have all ages in the room - from babies to people in their eighties - it can feel hard to know how to help everyone present engage with the service and enjoy being there. It’s important we try. It will never be possible to engage everyone 100% of the time - but that doesn’t mean an all- age or multigenerational service or event can't be successful.

Here are some ideas to use:

Key Ideas

Don’t feel you have to aim your content at either the kids or the adults. Instead, pick a topic we can all relate to: eg, who is God when we’re scared or why the Bible is important.
Plan for everyone to be able to engage:
- Song choice - Choose songs that will be accessible to most people. That might mean using shorter or simpler songs - but very often, if children are present, adults understand this and will support it.
- Make your worship as accessible as possible. How can people who don’t like / can’t read join in? Equip them with what they need, eg permission to listen / instruments to join in / flags to wave / paper to doodle on / space to dance / use of Makaton.
- Frame your service well so people understand the ‘whys’ as well as the ‘whats’ (see the question on framing earlier in this section).
- Plan your talk so all types of learners can follow. What is there for your aural / visual / kinesthetic learners? Which bits can be visually engaging? For example, could you share the Bible story using props / drama / saying it together / using a video version? Could you add movement to your prayers or teach everyone a greeting to use during the Peace?
- Consider using a side-by-side learning opportunity (see the question earlier in this section).
- Be aware of the youngest children. Can you encourage families to sit where they can see? Work out your timings so that small children regularly have something to engage with eg a story / visuals / song, so that if they are unable to engage with other bits of content, you can keep re-engaging them.
- Gently coach parents and carers in how to help their kids engage (see Session 2 Part 2).
Be aware of the impact on an existing congregation if you plan to introduce other generations:
- Prepare them well and give them information about why the change is happening eg. how it supports the church’s mission, what the benefits are and what might the ‘costs’ be to them.
- Consider trying a ‘one-off’ of the new type of service eg at Christmas, so they can experience it without fear of loss.
- Be realistic. Will the change work for the existing congregation? What will they lose? Could they find this elsewhere? The Parenting for Faith website has two training videos which will give you more ideas: A Lunch with Leaders training session with three ideas for creating an all age service that will work Two sessions on the importance of all age gatherings, and the practical steps you can take to make them work.

Here are some top tips from other children's, youth and families leaders:

We make sure we have a variety of people and ages upfront so everyone can feel this service is for them.
When I plan, I think about all the groups who will be there - men, women, teens, kids, older people, new to faith, long time Christians etc and ask for each section of the service ‘how will this work for them?’
We have ‘post-it note jobs’ - anything we need a volunteer for eg the Bible reading, handing something out, helping with the baby corner - we write it on a post-it and leave them on a board in the lobby. As people come in they can grab one and join in.
Have something for everyone but don’t be afraid to address one group for a few moments. At Messy Church, I sometimes just talk directly to the parents for a couple of minutes.
I try to add in times when people have to do things together - like discuss a question, or make something - so they are involved, not just watching.
Keep things moving - no more than 5 to 7 minutes for any one bit.

Find out more

Last reviewed 20 August 2026