Removing the Competition of Needs
Prioritised
Removing the Competition of Needs
Help your children feel valued and secure by removing the sense that they must compete with church for your time and attention.
The second thing our children need to flourish is that they need to feel prioritised: valued, important, and safe and secure in your affection and love.
In church leaders’ families, children can feel wobbly because they perceive a ‘competition of needs’. The needs of the church for their parent’s time and attention may seem so big in comparison with their needs that they internalise that as the need to compete for your time and attention.
Three ideas to help remove the competition of needs:
Language matters
It’s possible to unwittingly reinforce the competition of needs by the way you talk about your ministry. Shifting to ‘it’s a work thing’ helps to emphasise your disappointment and reinforce your desire for connection with your child, so they can see that their priority in your life is still strong.
Communicate the yes
Communicate where they do have permissions to do things, rather than where they don’t.
Choose to be a parent
Give yourself permission to be a parent while you are leading! Children need us to be a parent at all times, and there are times when you will need to be a parent in the midst of ministry. Work to create a culture in your church, your leadership and your teams where you are for each other’s families.
